Manipulation is a key factor in the abuse equation.

Webster defines one of the meanings of ‘manipulation’ as  ‘To control….by insidious means….to ones own advantage.’ I recently had a very negative reaction to someone who was insisting that I do something. There was nothing wrong with what they wanted me to do but I simply didn’t have the time to do it. They then tried to put a guilt trip on me. I was angry but I wasn’t sure why. I even felt a little guilty for not being able to work it out. As I thought about what had happened I realized that this person was trying to manipulate me into doing something that they wanted me to do.

We are by nature selfish people and we often try to manipulate others into doing something that we want them to do. At first glance some manipulation may seem harmless but when we try and control someone for our own purposes that is wrong and when an offender manipulates a child so they can rape and molest them….that is evil. 

God desires that we love and serve him. When a person seeks to control us, they rob us of our freedom to depend on and follow God and they rob God of our allegiance to him. Manipulation is a sin. Whether it is an abusive husband or a person who harms a child.

The only time in scripture where we are told to endure abuse is when we are being persecuted for the name of Christ. In other words when a non believer is persecuting us specifically because we are a Christian. Domestic violence, sexual abuse and spiritual abuse do not fall into that category. Abuse is a sin and must not be tolerated in the Christian community. Whenever a victim is able to escape abuse, they should do so for their own safety and that of their children as well as the fact that as long as they are under  the control and manipulation of an abuser they are not able to truly fulfill their service to the Lord. 

If you have someone in your life who is manipulating you, it may be time to distance yourself from them. There is no glory or honor in allowing yourself to be controlled by another person.

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About Dale Ingraham @ Speaking Truth In Love Ministries

We started Speaking truth in love Ministries to address the issue of sexual abuse within the faith community. My wife, Faith, is a survivor of many years of abuse by her father who was a pastor at the time. We go into churches, colleges and conferences to speak about this issue.
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