What would you think of someone who didn’t believe you? When ‘Christians’ question the stories of abuse victims, it is often a copout. It gives them an easy out to do nothing.
One of the best and very first things we can do to help a victim of abuse is to believe them when they come to us and ask for help. And yet with some frequency we see criticism of this point coming our way. “Oh, sure, believe her? How do you know that she isn’t just making the whole thing up, falsely accusing the alleged abuser? The Bible says we need two or three witnesses, doesn’t it? And what about Proverbs:
(Pro 18:17) The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.
So let’s spend a bit of time answering these critics.
First, consider what Proverbs says, and do so in light of what we know about the mentality, nature and tactics of the abuser. We know that this saying is true – it is the Word of God. We also know, if…
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I was hurt by the ones who don’t believe me. But not as deeply as I was hurt by the ones who said, “I believe you, but…..”
But… he’s sorry.
But… he wants to change.
But… he didn’t mean to do that or say that or make you feel like that.
But… no one is perfect.
But… he didn’t hit you last time, he just broke the door down.
But… he love the kids.
But… his father was abusive too.
But… miracles happen.
But… you must forgive.
But… he loves you.
It’s all the buts that leave me feeling hopeless and alone.
Thanks for sharing that Anne. The real experts on the issues of abuse are those who have been through abuse.