Helping an Abuse Victim without being Duped by the Abuser

A Cry For Justice

If a friend or member of your congregation tells you of the abusive relationship she is enduring, one of the most validating things you can do is to believe her.  The validation of being believed empowers the victim and may help her to understand even more clearly the abusive relationship she is in — especially if the abuser tries to convince her he has changed.

However, as a supporter it is important to understand that you are at risk of being recruited by the abuser — to become his ally.  If the abuser knows you, and especially if he has an inkling that you are supporting his victim, the abuser will see your support of his target as a great danger to him. Why? Because the abuser knows that it is easier for him to maintain power and control over his target if the target is isolated and bereft of people she can trust and…

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About Dale Ingraham @ Speaking Truth In Love Ministries

We started Speaking truth in love Ministries to address the issue of sexual abuse within the faith community. My wife, Faith, is a survivor of many years of abuse by her father who was a pastor at the time. We go into churches, colleges and conferences to speak about this issue.
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