The Explaining Trap

A Cry For Justice

When having a conversation with an abuser, the abuser often tries to get you to fall into the explaining trap. It is a trap because no matter how much you explain things to the abuser, the abuser will pretend to not understand or not accept your explanations. And he will keep challenging and criticizing your explanations, to get you to give more explanations.

The important thing to bear in mind is that this a trap. The abuser doesn’t really need explanations. The abuser doesn’t really WANT explanations. The abuser pretends to want explanations, but what the abuser really wants is to bamboozle you, put you on the back foot, and keep you interacting with him.

The longer the abuser can keep you interacting with him, the more chances he has to reshape the things you said into bullets he can fire back at you pretty soon… or in the…

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About Dale Ingraham @ Speaking Truth In Love Ministries

We started Speaking truth in love Ministries to address the issue of sexual abuse within the faith community. My wife, Faith, is a survivor of many years of abuse by her father who was a pastor at the time. We go into churches, colleges and conferences to speak about this issue.
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