Willow Creek, Your Time Is Now

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I would love to reconcile with my dad. But I need to see repentance.

A Cry For Justice

I grew up in a Christian home. I should clarify, my mother’s faith was always an inspiration to me, but all I saw with my father’s so-called faith was hypocrisy and using the Bible as a weapon against others.

Then one day, my mother came to me weeping over my father’s actions towards her. She had nowhere else to go, as over the years she had become more and more isolated, and bought into the lie that as a good Christian woman she shouldn’t talk about her marriage issues with anyone and cover her husband’s sin.

She came to me out of sheer desperation because the emotional abuse had got so severe. I was shocked but strangely not surprised. I guess I had always seen my father’s antics, just was surprised how far he had taken things this time.

I begged mum to go get help from another Godly couple…

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An Open Letter to Heath Lambert and Leadership of ACBC

via An Open Letter to Heath Lambert and Leadership of ACBC

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Biblical Counseling and Domestic Abuse

Spiritual Sounding Board

Biblical Counseling, Domestic Abuse, Victim Safety, Heath Lambert

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-by Kathi

The Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC) will be holding their annual meeting this fall addressing Biblical counseling and abuse. Leading up to this event I thought it might be a good idea to look at how Biblical counseling addresses domestic abuse.

Heath Lambert is the Executive Director of ACBC and spoke on Restoration After Abuse. In this speech, he discusses two extremes of how Christians respond to abuse. Christians will either tell a victim to get out of the abusive relationship or they will tell the victim to submit more and pray more. He then offers a lengthy response on how to help a victim to restore relationship yet keep her safe.

And so that’s the tension. We want to aim for restoration. We want to believe that this abusive man can change and their marriage can be…

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11 Chris Moles discredits and mislabels victims of domestic abuse

A Cry For Justice

Chris Moles, Bethlehem Baptist Church 2017

Chris disapproves of survivors having a victim identity or victim-hood status.

He conveys the idea that victims are somehow wrong to be so aware of their victim-hood.

It’s an interesting thing in the victim-care work, that many victims’ identity will be so tied to their victim-hood status.  

And one of the things biblical counselors have done is we don’t like victim status. Right? So we dismiss it, rightfully so, 90% of the time. But this percent of the time we might need to walk with them graciously to get them out of that, because we don’t want to drive them further into it – we want them to have victory right?— not be a victim.

And yet, if you’ve been a victim for 25-30 years, it’s kind of ingrained in you, isn’t it? Do you think you’re going to trust easily if you’ve…

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Dealing with Abusive Men

My Only Comfort

Thoughts on Psalm 129, from a sermon preached at First Reformed Church, February 9, 2014.

Many a time have they afflicted me from my youth, may Israel now say:
2 Many a time have they afflicted me from my youth: yet they have not prevailed against me.
3 The plowers plowed upon my back: they made long their furrows.
4 The LORD is righteous: he hath cut asunder the cords of the wicked.
5 Let them all be confounded and turned back that hate Zion.
6 Let them be as the grass upon the housetops, which withereth afore it groweth up:
7 Wherewith the mower filleth not his hand; nor he that bindeth sheaves his bosom.
8 Neither do they which go by say, The blessing of the LORD be upon you: we bless you in the name of the LORD. (Psa 129:1-8 KJV)

This is a psalm about evil…

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10. Victim care is vital – Chris Moles & other biblical counselors are falling short in this

A Cry For Justice

Victim safety and wellbeing must be the fundamental guiding principle if you are counseling  abusive men or doing anything to hold them accountable and call them to reform.

It’s vital to put victim safety and wellbeing first. Any person or agency that works with abusive men must see the victim (not the abuser) as their real client. This is what No To Violence (NTV) says. They’re an organization which sets standards for Men’s Behavior Change Programs in Australia. And this principle which they uphold is consistent with Christianity.

The Bible tells tells us to remember the poor (Gal 2:10). And it tells us that we ought to prioritise those who are of the household of faith (Gal 6:10). 

Therefore, if Christians are to do good in field of domestic abuse, they must especially do good to those who are experiencing abuse in the body of Christ. And that means real

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