Thursday Thought — Where to Get Help When Everyone Sides with Him

A Cry For Justice

Sometimes it just becomes too painful to keep trying to get the people around you to see the truth.  When people are impressed with your partner and convinced that he’s a great person, your efforts to get them to see won’t always work.  They don’t want to believe they idolized a false icon, so it’s easier to blame the victim.

So sometimes you’re better off letting go of trying to open their eyes.  Instead, look elsewhere for support, validation, and safety.  Some places you might turn to include:

  • Friends and relative who don’t live close by, so they haven’t been swayed by your community’s mythology about your partner
  • Websites for women who have faced abuse by influential abusers … or where you could seek out women whose experiences are similar to yours …
  • A hotline or support group for abused women …

A day will come when you can get…

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What Does it Feel Like to Not be Believed?

Those who protect rapists and molesters, often site the ‘innocent until proven guilty’ statute as a reason to believe the offender, until they are proven guilty. But that is a statute for the courts. When we as Christians take that approach to sexual abusers then we in affect are saying to the victims that we believe they are liers until their offender is found guilty in court. Even then many so called don’t believe the victim.

A Cry For Justice

One of the most important things we can do to help victims of abuse is believe them when they tell us what is going on behind the scenes. If you have been following this blog for a while, you have probably seen that we have been attacked by some pretty nasty types who accuse us of believing reports of abuse “no matter what,” and most of them are tee’d off because they are still stuck in the world of “those cursed anti-God feminists run things and no one ever believes the man.” We who are in the know about the mentality and nature of abuse understand that just the opposite is true — with some exceptions. Namely, that the typical scenario is that it is the abuser (who is most typically a man) is the one who is being believed, not the victim.

But we stand by this principle. The best…

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True Church Growth Often Means Getting Smaller

A Cry For Justice

Children, it is the last hour, and as you have heard that antichrist is coming, so now many antichrists have come. Therefore we know that it is the last hour. They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. But they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us. (1John 2:18-19)

Our church is quite small in number. We live in a small town that hasn’t seen numerical growth in over 20 years, but that is not the only reason we do not see many new people join us. We welcome visitors. We pray the Lord will send us 1) people He is drawing to Himself and need to hear the gospel, or 2) people who are His true sheep and who desire to be in fellowship with real…

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Wife Asks for Input Regarding Her Husband Who Paddles Her

Spiritual Sounding Board

Wife Spanking, Christian Domestic Discipline, Domestic Violence


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You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7

Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Colossians 3:19

In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:28

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My heart grieves when I think about how people arrive at my blog. I am able to see the search terms that people use. There are primarily two topics that continually bring people to the blog from search engines: posts related to wives of pedophiles and posts related to “Christian Domestic Discipline, also known as wife-spanking, but more appropriately identified…

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Be Done With Church Leaders who Prove Themselves to be Blind Guides

A Cry For Justice

Here is what Jesus had to say about the established “clergy” of His day.

You hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, when he said: “‘This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me; in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.'” And he called the people to him and said to them, “Hear and understand: it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.”

Then the disciples came and said to him, “Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?” He answered, “Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be rooted up. Let them alone; they are blind guides. And if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.” (Mat 15:7-14)

The Pharisees hated…

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Doug Phillips: The Sex Abuse Lawsuit Conclusion and Epilogue of His Vision Forum Shipwreck

Spiritual Sounding Board

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Doug Phillips Lawsuit, Lourdes Torres, Sex Abuse, Vision Forum, Spiritual Abuse


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Doug Phillips, Vision Forum Screen Shot 2014-03-11 at 12.03.20 PM

It’s been a long while since there have been any updates on the Lourdes Torres vs Douglas Phillips lawsuit. Normally, I received updates from Attorney David C. Gibbs III, who represented Lourdes Torres. Either he would e-mail or text me, or I would inquire of him, and he or another attorney from his office would respond quickly.

Because of the influence Doug Phillips had in so many lives in the Christian Homeschool Movement, I’ve tried hard to get information from first-hand sources. Sadly, after several requests, I have not received any response from Attorney Gibbs’ office regarding recent updates on this case; however, Free Jinger, a website that hosts discussions on the culture, abuses, and key people in Christian fundamentalism, noted mid-May that the court case was dismissed:

dpSource

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I was also told by a…

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The silence of our friends — by Aimee Byrd, from Housewife Theologian

A Cry For Justice

We’ve been betrayed. This is something that has disturbed me, as well as a handful of other women writers, for a while now. We’ve tried to respectfully engage, and we have been ignored. Completely. So I put a few rocks in my snowballs and threw them out, hoping the sting would provoke some men to wake up and say something. Some have. That’s why I was so pleased to share Liam Goligher’s guest post. All of a sudden people are listening. And asking questions.
CBMW in particular owes a lot of women an apology. They haven’t acknowledged one woman* who has critiqued their fringe teaching and asked for them to think of its practical consequences. And they wouldn’t answer my one reasonable question about their stance on Nicene Trinitarian confessions. It has made some wonder whether they are even interested in listening to women. This is not complementarity according…

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