A Victim-Silencing Abuser-Protecting Tactic of the Wicked – “An Evil ‘Pious’ Silence”

A Cry For Justice

Let not those rejoice over me who are wrongfully my foes, and let not those wink the eye who hate me without cause. For they do not speak peace, but against those who are quiet in the land they devise words of deceit. (Psalm 35:19-20)

As we have written in other posts, it is very characteristic of evil people to use non-verbal means to communicate their abuse on others. One of these dastardly dark tricks is the evil man saying “I must not say anymore. I don’t want to gossip.” His intent with this false saintliness is to cover up, to hide truth, and to pressure others into being silent about evil as well. There is absolutely nothing saintly about such a person. He is a child of the darkness.

Let me illustrate more clearly how this works. Let’s say you are discussing some evil that has come to light. Perhaps the…

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The Church is in Great Need of Another Reformation – But of a Different Kind

A Cry For Justice

But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. (2 Timothy 3:1-5)

We have written on this passage of Scripture before but are compelled to call your attention to it again.

Consider the present condition of the visible church as seen in many if not the majority of local churches at this very moment —

  • Habitually wicked people are considered to be Christians.
  • Pedophiles find easy sanctuary in the pews and even in the pulpits.
  • Those oppressed by wolves in wool are further oppressed by church leaders and members when they…

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Thursday Thought — The Cycle of Abuse

A Cry For Justice

In his book, Unholy Charade:Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church, [affiliate link*] Pastor Crippen describes each phase of the cycle of abuse.  Understanding each phase and how they work in sequence may help victims be able to avoid or lessen the confusion that abusers want to create.

The buy-back

Some people call this the ‘normal’ phase or even the ‘honeymoon period,’ but in an abusive relationship, nothing is ever really normal, and any honeymoon feeling is a deception. ‘Buy-back’ names what the abuse is doing: trying to manipulatively buy back, through apparent peace and pleasantness, the affection and loyalty of the one he seeks to control. When it suits his purposes, he can pretend to be quite caring, even loving. The buy-back phase will give the victim false hopes that thing are better now, that he really does love her, that he has truly changed. But like almost everything…

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How the Threat of God’s Wrath is Used to Silence Abuse Victims

A Cry For Justice

In following the story of Marie Notcheva over at Wartburg Watch, I read the following comment by a “friend” of Marie’s on Facebook. I decided to highlight this comment here in a post because THIS tactic of threatening God’s wrath for exposing evil in a church is really rather common. Here is what this “friend” had to say:

I would be very careful attacking Heritage Bible Chapel. God is VERY clear that the only reason that divorce is permitted is because of sexual immorality aka adultery or that the man is not a born again Christian and he chooses to leave the marriage. But the same is true for the wife. Romans 7:2-3 I LOVE you Marie and your family, but attacking the church that was trying to guide you biblically isn’t safe.

“Be very careful…attacking the church isn’t safe.” That is a threat. The commenter denied it when confronted…

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Helping an Abuse Victim without being Duped by the Abuser

A Cry For Justice

If a friend or member of your congregation tells you of the abusive relationship she is enduring, one of the most validating things you can do is to believe her.  The validation of being believed empowers the victim and may help her to understand even more clearly the abusive relationship she is in — especially if the abuser tries to convince her he has changed.

However, as a supporter it is important to understand that you are at risk of being recruited by the abuser — to become his ally.  If the abuser knows you, and especially if he has an inkling that you are supporting his victim, the abuser will see your support of his target as a great danger to him. Why? Because the abuser knows that it is easier for him to maintain power and control over his target if the target is isolated and bereft of people she can trust and…

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Lundy Bancroft Webinars — starting March 1

A Cry For Justice

URGENT: Lundy Bancroft will be participating in a series of webinars titled after his book, Why Does He Do That?  Inside the minds of angry and controlling men.  Early bird offer closes tomorrow, 5th Feb. Sorry for the late notice.

Below is information about the webinars and how one can register for them.

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Webinar: Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men.
Lundy Bancroft, American family violence expert, is delivering his first worldwide webinar events in March. The course of four webinars will be delivered to participants’ inboxes, with a special offer of a fifth session featuring a live Q & A.

When: weekly webinars aired live at 1pm USA eastern time, on four successive Wednesdays: March 1st, 8th, 15th and 22nd.

Time zone conversion? If you click on register here you will see a link that enables you to convert that to your own…

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“Tear Down This Wall of Silence” now published with Justice Keepers Publishing! — by Rebecca Davis

A Cry For Justice

I well remember the 1990s when the sexual abuse scandals among Catholic priests were being broadcast all over the news. But whenever they aired, I turned them off. I didn’t want to know about them because they were horrible. And besides, my pea brain told me that was the Catholics, and of course horrible stuff like that is going to happen there, but it had nothing to do with me. It was very, very distant from my world. So I thought. (Even though I knew I had a close relative who had been sexually abused. And other girls in college had confided in me that they had been sexually abused. Those were all in a different compartment of my pea brain.)

Well, I’ve repented of that attitude, for sure.

Which brings me to . . . drum roll, please . . .

tdtws-full-cover Click on the image to enlarge it and…

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